randy talks to tim about charity
by bill560682
Summary: tim decides to talk to randy about raising money for the rain forest project. disclaimer i do not own the show or anyone on it.


"so randy how is the fund raising going to save the spotted owl?" asks tim as randy returns home late from his charity work.

"it's the rain forest not the spotted owl. an if you really cared you would know that? so lets have it, what kind of stupid jokes have you come up with. that way after i hear them i can get some sleep." grouched randy who had heard about every so-called joke brad could think up. which given brad's brain was not many.

"now randy i have always been behind you no matter what you have done. i was even behind you when you were bashing binford in your school paper. i set up a meeting with you and bud so you could in fact get both sides of the story and not just those against binford. an as you found out no binford is not perfect but they are also not as bad as they first looked." stated tim.

"oh yah dad i remember, i had to take the bus home after the meeting with dear old bud." retorted randy.

"hay, that was not bud's fault, it was mine. after you left in a huff bud sat me down and we talked an he said the meeting went about how he figured it would. you came in looking for the big bad monster who is killing the planet and were not willing to hear anything different. an yes at the time i was very mad at you because binford is the one who pays our bills and i feared losing my job and as a result all of us ending up homeless. i was also behind you when you decided to run off to costa rica even thou i would have rather you stayed here were you were safe, but that is not the reason for our talk now. you need to raise money to save THE RAIN FOREST so i suggest you do the same thing i do in such cases, make friends with some devorce lawyers and have them convince thier clients to 'give away all thier money to some stupid tree huggers' an come tax time they file and get a refund for the money they donated and the now ex-wife or ex-husband gets nothing." stated tim.

"are you kidding me? you fundraise by breaking up families?" asked a shocked randy.

"of course not, they are already planning on getting devorced. i am just helping the poor profit from the rich, kind of like robin hood." reponded tim.

"an you REALLY think the rich would just give away everything?" asked a shocked randy.

"of course they do, they would rather the poor get it and then they get it back then the soon to be ex. at least with the poor getting it they get it back from the government come tax time. that is what saved bud over 12 million when he and the wife devorced, heck he even gets money from her as a result of being broke when they devorced." stated tim.

"are you sure that is even legal?" asked randy.

"of course it is. i have been the head and founder of the feed the starving foundation for 2 years. i end up writting myself a check for 10% of all the money raised each year, last year i got a check for 1.3 million as my pay for the year. which just goes to show you can help the needy and not end up living in a box in an alley yourself to do it." responded tim.

"but i thought they had limits to how much you can donate?" asked randy.

"they do, but do you remember when we thought benny was poor because he was going to the soup kitchen? after that night he told me about a charity he runs, which is were i got the idea. an yes benny runs a charity and gives MOST of the money to the soup kitchen you were helping out at. benny showed me his bank book and he is loaded, i mean over 40 million loaded. an before you ask why benny is a free loader if he is so rich his answer was that IS the reason he is so rich. he does not have a million dollar home costing him 40,000 a year in property taxes. it seems benny got the idea by talking to wilson one day, which would answer the question why wilson never has to work. so you figure between me, your mom, wilson and benny we can move some money around. an before you ask no your mom does not take pay for being the head of her charity because i make enough for the both of us." stated tim.

"how come we never heard about this before?" asked randy.

"your mother and i do not like to show off our good deeds or our money. we do not have a million dollar house, or 2 vacation homes one in florida and one in aspen colorado. we are simple people with simple needs. we never told you boys because brad only cares about being a soccer star and you have just turned old enough to get your own charity and mark is still too young." responded tim.

"so you want me to join 'crook's are us' and start ripping off people getting devorced?" asked randy who of course in fact thought this was a great idea but could not let his father off the hook so easy.

"we are not crook's we have records for every donation and records for how every dollar is spent. we turn our records over to the government every year to make sure we are within the tax code." argued tim not able to figure out why randy could not get it, this is in fact totally legal.

"dad, hookers in vegas are legal but that does not mean it's right." stated randy loving the fact he could mess with his dad so bad and he not get it.

"FINE, BE THAT WAY THEN. I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU AND YOUR STUPID SPOTTED OWLS." huffed tim as he headed for the garage.

"IT'S THE RAIN FOREST NOT SPOTTED OWL. an i will take all the help i can get so when do i start my charity?" asked randy who could not help but laugh at his dad's face he made when he figured out he had been had.

"so, you were in favor of this idea but decided to screw with me WHY?" questioned tim who was thinking having a second child may have been a bad idea.

"well. how often do i get the chance? with both of us thinking alike when it comes to jokes it is rather hard to get one by you." responded randy hoping his dad was not really mad at him or the charity would in fact be the one to suffer, or at least it would suffer till he brought mom in on his side. she would set dad straight.

"you do have a point there. so in a few days we will sit down with our lawyer and draw up the papers for THE RANDALL WILLIAM TAYLOR THE FIRST CHARITY FOR SPOTTED FOREST TREES WITH FEATHERS?" pronounced tim proudly.

"DAD, you know there is no such thing." retorted randy.

"o.k., fine. you get to pick the name then." stated tim.


End file.
